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Was that an intervention?

Sunday, July 29th, 2007

It hasn’t come completely out of the blue; my mum has mentioned her feelings on my lifestyle in the past few days, but an hour or so ago she decided to have it out with me.

She said that I am acting like my life is over, because I stay in the house a lot and don’t go out much. She said that she is worrying about me, and that I wasn’t like this a year ago. A year ago I used to go to the gym, go to the cinema, etc.

She said that my dad is also worried about me because I spend a lot of time in my room and I eat a lot of junk food and sleep a lot during the day when I’m not at work.

At my age I should be going out all the time…

What they are saying is true, but I feel okay about my life at the moment. I’m not going out a lot, but I am more of an introspective person and I appreciate having time alone to think about things and to read, etc. I’m not particularly unhappy, though I admit that I’m somewhat unfulfilled and directionless. The only thing that sometimes upsets me is my inability to pursue my creative goals, and to slim down.

I do take myself out sometimes, and I do exercise sometimes, so it’s not like I’ve completely “given up on life”.

I think that this is a phase that I’m going through, and in time I will probably want to go out more and be more active. I don’t want my parents to worry about me, but I guess it’s hard for them to understand my moods and needs.

Sometimes I tell my mum that she should be more supportive of me since I’m not causing her a lot of trouble; things could be worse, I say: I could be a drug addict or an alcoholic, etc. Sure it’s not ideal that I eat the odd packet of biscuits from time to time, but I’m not hurting anyone else.

I don’t have much of a social life; some of that is my own fault for being somewhat socially awkward, and some of it is just the way that things have worked out. I don’t have many friends, and the ones I have don’t ask me to meet up with them on a regular basis. I don’t have a group of friends who I meet up with at the weekends or in the evenings (like everyone else seems to have). Some of the friends I have only seem to contact me when they want something from me.

I’m not sure what to do at this stage. If I do anything.

Written by PJ | Posted in my life

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6 Responses to “Was that an intervention?”

1
A. Writer:

2:33 pm on 29-Jul-07

What an honest post.

I can relate to most of it.

The last paragraph in particular struck a chord with me. I could have easily written it about myself.

    • 2
    Dr. Monkey:

    9:52 pm on 29-Jul-07

    If you weren’t a black female living in the UK, I’d swear you were me. I went through the same type of thing when I was your age, and you know what? Don’t sweat it. It’s better to be alone sometimes than to be what someone else thinks you should be. As for the diet and working out, just be careful of the amount and types of fat you eat. Trans fats and animal fats will kill you. Go take a walk and just be yourself. My hunch is they are worried you are not married with kids yet, so don’t let them pressure you into a relationship you are not ready for. Just wait and the right person will come to you at the right time.

    Just be yourself and don’t worry. I think you have a great handle on who you are and your pals in the blog world love who you are sweetie, I know I do. So tell your Mum and Dad Dr. Monkey wants them to back off and leave you alone.

    • 3
    Absolute Vanilla... (& Atyllah):

    10:36 am on 30-Jul-07

    Your mother would have a hard time with me ;-) - and I remember my mother making similar comments about me when I was a teenager - “what’s wrong with you, why don’t you get out more?!”
    Truth is, some of us actually like our alone time and need it too. I frequently have an almost zero social life and I’m totally cool with that. When I want company, I call up friends and go out. And we do go in cycles and phases - we know there’s a world out there that we can interact with - when we want to. At the end of the day, be true to yourself - but also remember to have balance in your life.

  • 4
    PJ:

    11:06 pm on 30-Jul-07

    Thanks for your comments, guys.

  • 5
    Sophisticated Writer:

    1:17 am on 31-Jul-07

    I totally relate, PJ. There are some parts in this post which sound like they’re coming from me. For years now, mom’s been nagging me about how much I sleep, how I should go most of the time, how I keep to myself, don’t have many friends, to not eat much and then put on extra weight…etc. It was always somehow like that in college as well. I kept to myself, studied (when I felt like it :P), didn’t have a whole lot of friends (just few close friends) so do what you feel like. And yeah it could be just a phase, you know. She’s just worried about you and I suppose that’s a good thing.

    Be well :smile:

  • 6
    Liane Spicer:

    6:23 am on 1-Aug-07

    To echo the posts above, you sound an awful lot like me. I’m sure I’m a lot older than you are, I’ve been married and divorced, raised a child, etc, etc, and my mother still worries about me that way. The thing is, I like myself the way I am. I’m comfortable with me. I’m happiest when I’m alone with a good book, or working on my writing either actually or imaginatively. There are times when I go out and enjoy it, times I meet with a friend or two, times when I do brave, risky things out in the world. But most of the time I enjoy my alone time. I need it.

    Parents worry when they perceive their children as somehow ‘different’. And creative people are generally ‘different’. You’ll be okay. I think you’ll grow into your creative niche without having to conform to other people’s notion of how you should live your life. Just try to take care of yourself along the way - the eating habits, the exercise, the positive outlook.

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