Yesterday evening was hilarious.

After work I met Linda at Charing Cross station and walked to St Martins Lane to find somewhere to eat. As we passed the theatre a swanky silver car pulled up. “I wonder if it’s him,” said Linda. We watched as a figure emerged from the car and met the crowd (of about 20 girls).

Mr Bloom was wearing a dreary grey top, and had decided to cover his head with the hood. He chatted to a few girls then walked away. Then suddenly he returned for more adoration. There was an instance when he turned towards us. Linda’s knees buckled, I felt a flash of recognition and a woman next to us also felt a bit woozy… I tried to take a pic, but he moved too quickly and I got the back of a girl’s head instead.

Luckily, Linda got a better shot (she is 6ft tall, so she could see over everyone’s heads).

Then Linda and I went to Pizza Express and we caught up on a few things. Suffice it to say that much is afoot at my former workplace.

After dinner we went back to the theatre for the main event. We couldn’t find our seats, and when we asked one of the assistants for help he told us that our upper circle seats had been upgraded to the stalls.

In Celebration tells the story of the homecoming of three sons back into the welcoming bosom of their seemingly ordinary Yorkshire family. Their coalminer dad has worked for 49 years to ensure that his sons would not have to do the same, but still they aren’t happy. We see three very different mindsets from the three brothers.

Colin, the middle brother, tries to keep the peace, while the oldest brother, Andrew, rocks the stage with his rage towards his parents. The oedipal gestures he made towards his mother near the play’s end were particularly disturbing.

Orlando (with the lovely cardigan and ‘tashe) played the pliable younger brother and failed novelist, Steven, (and was aptly nicknamed Silent Steven). He didn’t have to say very much, and his character was actually meant to be quiet, brooding and sullen… I couldn’t stop myself chuckling quietly when he wept.

Overall it was a great show, if a bit slow going at first.

After the show there was a massive crowd (mostly female) outside waiting for Orly. Linda and I decided to join them, for a laugh. He came out and seemed happy to sign autographs (Linda got her programme signed by him - but I wasn’t as close or tall).

Here’s a dodgy pic taken by my old cameraphone to show you the scale of the crowd (my newer phone conked out). I think I got the top of his head in the first one.

We started walking away after that, then when we’d gotten to the end of the road we realised that he was about to drive past us, so we waited and I decided to get a crappy pic of his car.

I noticed a bloke leaning on a lamp-post, looking at us strangely.

Then as I was aiming my camera phone at the approaching car, it stopped a few metres away from us. The door swung open, revealing a black dog (Linda told me that he takes his dog everywhere with him) relaxing on the back seat. Linda and I watched the weird lamp-post guy get into the car before it drove off. Tres bizarre!

Linda and I parted at Charing Cross station. As I walked toward the appropriate underground train platform a guy with a strong accent approached me and asked me the way to London Bridge, knowing that it’s also on the Northern line I said he could follow me to the platform. We got on the train, and I noticed him watching me intently. Internally I hoped he wasn’t a weirdo.

At Kennington station I told him that he would have to follow the signs to the northbound platform to get a train going to London Bridge, then I changed train platforms to continue southbound. Mr London Bridge followed me. I tried to explain to him that I wasn’t going his way, but he seemed happy to follow me all the way home. In the end I had to walk him half way to his platform before I could shake him off my trail, then I caught my train and breathed a sigh of relief.

Later on a young guy started smoking weed on the train. Bloody wanker.

Written by PJ | Posted in celeb news

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