Comments on: Stewing http://recluse.me/2008/05/15/stewing/ The great paradox of the writer's life is how much time he spends alone trying to connect with other people. ~ Betsy Lerner Tue, 18 Nov 2008 21:56:27 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: PJ http://recluse.me/2008/05/15/stewing/#comment-3469 PJ Mon, 02 Jun 2008 18:38:58 +0000 http://nubiana.co.uk/2008/05/15/stewing/#comment-3469 Yoda/Ben: I am offended, just using me to test your gravatar, disgraceful. Liane: No matter how old you get, you're always the child. I guess they'll always see me as the baby that they raised, rather than the woman that I've become. Yoda/Ben: I am offended, just using me to test your gravatar, disgraceful.

Liane: No matter how old you get, you’re always the child. I guess they’ll always see me as the baby that they raised, rather than the woman that I’ve become.

]]> By: Liane Spicer http://recluse.me/2008/05/15/stewing/#comment-3223 Liane Spicer Sun, 18 May 2008 03:00:57 +0000 http://nubiana.co.uk/2008/05/15/stewing/#comment-3223 PJ, you need to get out of there. Your parents think they're doing what they have to, and they do it out of caring and concern, but if you're anything like me that kind of approach just brings out the worst. Even at my age (middle) I can't exercise in front of my mother because of the 'motherly' criticisms that she just can't help giving. They do nothing for the self esteem, I can tell you, and I always feel and often react like a rebellious child. China Blue said "They fuck you up, your mum and dad..." Do you know the poem by the same name? If not check this link: http://www.artofeurope.com/larkin/lar2.htm Oh, and my mom asks me things like: What are you doing? Playing with blogs? AARRGGH! PJ, you need to get out of there. Your parents think they’re doing what they have to, and they do it out of caring and concern, but if you’re anything like me that kind of approach just brings out the worst. Even at my age (middle) I can’t exercise in front of my mother because of the ‘motherly’ criticisms that she just can’t help giving. They do nothing for the self esteem, I can tell you, and I always feel and often react like a rebellious child.

China Blue said “They fuck you up, your mum and dad…” Do you know the poem by the same name?
If not check this link: http://www.artofeurope.com/larkin/lar2.htm

Oh, and my mom asks me things like: What are you doing? Playing with blogs? AARRGGH!

]]> By: Martin http://recluse.me/2008/05/15/stewing/#comment-3203 Martin Sat, 17 May 2008 03:31:49 +0000 http://nubiana.co.uk/2008/05/15/stewing/#comment-3203 Tennessee maybe hot, but don't forget that on this side of the pond they have air-conditioning. Mmmmmm....aircon.... Tennessee maybe hot, but don’t forget that on this side of the pond they have air-conditioning.

Mmmmmm….aircon….

]]> By: Yoda http://recluse.me/2008/05/15/stewing/#comment-3201 Yoda Sat, 17 May 2008 01:50:44 +0000 http://nubiana.co.uk/2008/05/15/stewing/#comment-3201 Tennessee? Or you could just hit yourself in the face a buncha times. Save a trip. (No real offense meant Dr. M, I'm actually just posting to test my Gravatar...) Tennessee? Or you could just hit yourself in the face a buncha times. Save a trip.

(No real offense meant Dr. M, I’m actually just posting to test my Gravatar…)

]]> By: PJ http://recluse.me/2008/05/15/stewing/#comment-3199 PJ Fri, 16 May 2008 22:03:45 +0000 http://nubiana.co.uk/2008/05/15/stewing/#comment-3199 Hi Dr M, I think that Tennessee would be too hot for me but thanks for the invite. Hi Dr M, I think that Tennessee would be too hot for me but thanks for the invite.

]]> By: Dr. Monkey http://recluse.me/2008/05/15/stewing/#comment-3197 Dr. Monkey Fri, 16 May 2008 20:34:50 +0000 http://nubiana.co.uk/2008/05/15/stewing/#comment-3197 Move to here to east Tennessee so we can hang out. It's not too expensive to live in this area and there's lots to do and see around here. Move to here to east Tennessee so we can hang out. It’s not too expensive to live in this area and there’s lots to do and see around here.

]]> By: PJ http://recluse.me/2008/05/15/stewing/#comment-3186 PJ Thu, 15 May 2008 23:04:21 +0000 http://nubiana.co.uk/2008/05/15/stewing/#comment-3186 Hey Martin, thanks for stopping by. I'll email you in a min. Hi China, thanks for telling me about your history with your parents. I find it so frustrating that I have to just accept whatever they want to tell me because to disagree would be failing to respect my elders. Hey Martin, thanks for stopping by. I’ll email you in a min.

Hi China, thanks for telling me about your history with your parents. I find it so frustrating that I have to just accept whatever they want to tell me because to disagree would be failing to respect my elders.

]]> By: china blue http://recluse.me/2008/05/15/stewing/#comment-3178 china blue Thu, 15 May 2008 08:49:37 +0000 http://nubiana.co.uk/2008/05/15/stewing/#comment-3178 I know exactly what you're going through, PJ. At age 13 I was a chronic overeater, a size 16 and stayed that way until a few years ago (am now 28 - it's fair to say my teens sucked because I was so unhappy about my body). I had to deal with dirty looks at the table if I helped myself to seconds, snide remarks (reducing me to tears on more than one occasion) - and oh, this is the kicker - not being allowed to leave the table until I'd eaten everything on my plate because of the starving bloody kids in Africa! They fuck you up, you mum and dad... they don't mean to, but they do. You know what Jamaican parents are like - you can't lose your temper with them and live to regret it. So throw suppressed anger into the mix and you find yourself in a vicious circle: you literally eat the anger away. I found the only way to stop them 'owning' my body and what went into it was to seize control and say that I was going to the gym, going to eat properly. End of. Now leave me alone - I know what I'm doing. I live with my parents too, and I know that repeating 'I know what I'm doing' ad nauseam is sometimes the only way to get them to shut up and back off. I know exactly what you’re going through, PJ. At age 13 I was a chronic overeater, a size 16 and stayed that way until a few years ago (am now 28 - it’s fair to say my teens sucked because I was so unhappy about my body). I had to deal with dirty looks at the table if I helped myself to seconds, snide remarks (reducing me to tears on more than one occasion) - and oh, this is the kicker - not being allowed to leave the table until I’d eaten everything on my plate because of the starving bloody kids in Africa! They fuck you up, you mum and dad… they don’t mean to, but they do. You know what Jamaican parents are like - you can’t lose your temper with them and live to regret it. So throw suppressed anger into the mix and you find yourself in a vicious circle: you literally eat the anger away.

I found the only way to stop them ‘owning’ my body and what went into it was to seize control and say that I was going to the gym, going to eat properly. End of. Now leave me alone - I know what I’m doing.
I live with my parents too, and I know that repeating ‘I know what I’m doing’ ad nauseam is sometimes the only way to get them to shut up and back off.

]]> By: Martin http://recluse.me/2008/05/15/stewing/#comment-3170 Martin Thu, 15 May 2008 03:07:59 +0000 http://nubiana.co.uk/2008/05/15/stewing/#comment-3170 Hey P - not only are you not overweight, you are not stupid! if there's any way you can force yourself to ignore that stuff then please do so - I *know* how hard it is. The problem is that once normal people become parents they stop being able to do anything but worry about their kids - despite how well the kids are getting on. The real answer is to move out *soon*! Honestly, even if you end up in a house full of 20 Ozzies and Kiwis, it'll be better than with your parents. If you ever need a holiday in the states then let me know. Stiff upper lip old gal! You're way in the right here. Hey P - not only are you not overweight, you are not stupid! if there’s any way you can force yourself to ignore that stuff then please do so - I *know* how hard it is. The problem is that once normal people become parents they stop being able to do anything but worry about their kids - despite how well the kids are getting on.
The real answer is to move out *soon*! Honestly, even if you end up in a house full of 20 Ozzies and Kiwis, it’ll be better than with your parents. If you ever need a holiday in the states then let me know.
Stiff upper lip old gal! You’re way in the right here.

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