I started working when I was sixteen, and I have always had a job since then. I’ve progressed from working for £2.45 an hour in Kwik Save, to becoming an office manager with a £25k salary.

Most of the time my work has supplemented my studies or creative endeavours. I’ve had a couple of jobs that I’ve enjoyed, or at least I’ve enjoyed their perks (working in the cinema, arts centre and library), but most of my jobs haven’t been fun or fulfilling. At the same time, working has taught me about responsibility, time management, working with others and has provided me with some financial freedom.

Right now I’m working in a counselling centre, and I should feel good about that. I used to feel good about the fact that my work was connected to helping people in need, but I currently feel really unconnected to the overall worth of my job, and its contribution to society. All I can see are the mundane tasks set before me, the endless letters, and phonecalls, and statistics and “I’m sorry to bother you but…” and the rest. It’s like I’m the hamster spinning on the wheel, and I can’t get off. I’m hungry, unfocussed and need a break but as there’s no one to relieve me I have to stay in the office for 7 hours straight.

It’s been a slow process, but I think the turning point was the trip to Jamaica in May 2007. I don’t know why that’s the turning point, but since I returned from that trip I’ve been less happy about working here and less productive (though I still get the necessary work done).

I guess there’s a kind of irony that a couple of years ago part of my job was to motivate disaffected workers, and now I’m the unmotivated employee. I need to quit. I’ve been planning to hand in my notice at the beginning of September, as I can take some annual leave in August and find another job. I wish I could do it sooner.

Written by PJ | Posted in my life

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.